Tricycle

What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.

Relish, Mustard, Ketchup

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

Satan/Santa

I bet Satan gets a lot of letters from dyslexic kids on Christmas.

Cocaine

You think you've got problems? I dropped my cocaine in the snow this morning.

Prison Rapists

Prison rapists.

They put the cum in scumbags.

Dear Vegetarians

Dear Vegetarians, if you love animals that much, why do you eat all of their food?

"Last Night Was A Blur..."

“Last night was a blur. I vaguely remember sucking on some titties, and then shitting myself.”

- Sam, 10 months old.